The Redder Dragon
by che-guevara
Summary: On his way to the Red Dragons headquarters to face Vicious for the last time, Spike reflects on the situation and on his pastpresent. Please R & R.


                What did Spike think on his way to the Red Dragons Headquarters on the Swordfish? This is my personal take on it.

                Spike checked the screen; in about another hour, he would land in front of the all-too-familiar Red Dragons Headquarter, to face an all-too-familiar foe. He activated automatic navigation, and set back, looking up at absolutely nothing. All he could see was the dull interior of his loyal spaceship. It had been through everything with him, but the time had come when he would desert it. Who would find it? To whom would it belong? Those were questions Spike could not answer.

                Random memories started coming back to him, flashing before his eyes like an old, black-and-white movie. He tried chasing them away, but couldn't. He remembered the friendship he had with Vicious; he remembered the battles they had fought together… He did not remember every saying goodbye to him. He had never done that. He hoped he would finally do it on that day.

                He remembered the first time he saw Julia; for the first, last, and only time in his life, he had fallen in love with a woman. He remembered the warmth of her lips kissing him. He remembered the endless nights they spent together, losing themselves in each other's eyes and arms. 

                He reached for his inner coat pocket, and got out a cigarette box. Then, quietly, and with a strange air of mystery and complexity, he lit a cigarette and started smoking it. Of course, since the cockpit was too small, it was soon filled with noxious smoke. Spike's eyes started watering, his nose was irritated, and he had trouble breathing. But he didn't care. Aside from the _Swordfish, the only true friends he had were his cigarettes; always there to comfort him, console him, or just keep him company._

                Julia's death played out in his mind again; how she had promised to stay with him, how she had defended him, how she had probably saved his life… She didn't have to die… She truly did not… But life's never that way; it punishes angels for the sins of demons. Julia was punished for his own sins. She had died for him, or perhaps, in his stead.

                But why did she look for him? Why did she find him? He was living the meaningless life of a bounty hunter, when she suddenly popped out of nowhere to ruin everything.

                Spike realized he was asking the wrong question… The better question was: Why did he go to see her again? He had buried his past for years, and then he suddenly dug it out because of one woman… One normal woman.

                But it was useless to ponder on past events that could never be changed. Spike's memory fast-forwarded to Julia's death and stopped there. He saw the scene over and over again in his mind. His chest filled with sadness, anger, hatred… Feelings he had almost forgotten on the _Bebop_.

                And he suddenly realized: Destiny DOES exist. Our lives are NOT controlled by us. No matter how much we try to escape and create our own fates, we'll never escape the truth. Spike was living in an illusion for three years; he was trying to convince himself he had truly escaped the past, that he had truly escaped Vicious & Julia, but he had realized his destiny was unchangeable. The moment he fell in love with Julia he sealed his fate.

                For the first time in a long, long time, a shiny tear rolled down Spike's left cheek. He dropped the burnt-out cigarette, and he looked outside; everything was so quiet, so solitary, so… So… Mysteriously obvious. He wondered why he couldn't just leave the _Swordfish_, go to a faraway planet, forget everything, and start again. Then he remembered – he had to avenge Julia's death with his own, and with Vicious' death. It didn't make much sense to him; he had told Jet there was nothing he could do for a dead woman, and he was absolutely right. No matter how many people he killed in her memory, she would never know. She was gone, dead, she dad disappeared, she couldn't see him, she couldn't hear him… The whole idea of revenge was stupid…

                Yet he couldn't avoid it. Something inside him was MAKING him do it. Something very human…

                He left his ship in the middle of an alley. He kissed it, as if it was a human being. He collected the filter of his last cigarette from inside the cockpit and threw it on the ground. With his hand, he wiped his eyes. He chambered a bullet, and determinedly walked towards the Headquarters. He had decided to face the Red Dragon, no matter what. Little did he know that he was an even Redder Dragon.

                "BANG!" 


End file.
